I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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