I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
