Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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