Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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