I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
