The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
