Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
