everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
