Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
