Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
