I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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