Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
