Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
