You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
