First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
my shit smells like andre
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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