clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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