All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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