I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
