I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
