i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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