I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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