So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
