I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
pray to the hookup gods
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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