My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
