I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
