i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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