were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
