we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
