Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
this hospital has no fireball
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
