just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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