So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
