Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
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Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
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I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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