I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
