Pregnant stripper...not hot.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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