Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
