Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize