i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
