the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I want to fling myself into the sun
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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