so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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