I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
