1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
worst night to have a conscience
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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