Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...

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(918): Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic... http://tfl.nu/yey5

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us

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(828): Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us http://tfl.nu/ml7j

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(571): View more from Virginia

final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself

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(571): final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself http://tfl.nu/96ze

Replies (70) Good night (6912) Bad night (737)
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(416): View more from Ontario

Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.

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(416): Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her. http://tfl.nu/nm33

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(239): View more from Florida

And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".

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(239): And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine". http://tfl.nu/teku

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(858): View more from California

Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.

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(858): Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show. http://tfl.nu/suqh

Replies (31) Good night (1303) Bad night (4518)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.

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(717): Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze. http://tfl.nu/xfyl

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(540): View more from Virginia

For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.

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(540): For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners. http://tfl.nu/0hks

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(641): View more from Iowa

Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you

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(641): Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you http://tfl.nu/x1rz

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day

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(617): FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day http://tfl.nu/h5lz

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs

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(507): Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs http://tfl.nu/tz12

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(619): View more from California

Topless dodge ball cldnt top that

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(619): Topless dodge ball cldnt top that http://tfl.nu/nbsl

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(913): View more from Kansas

Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.

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(913): Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon. http://tfl.nu/apie

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.

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(484): We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town. http://tfl.nu/27ii

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(785): View more from Kansas

I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.

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(785): I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves. http://tfl.nu/0ncq

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