do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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