No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
