do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
