Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
