when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
