seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
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I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
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I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
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