She bit a glass in half.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
