you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
