they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
