don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
