you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
