apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
