i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
