But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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