Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
