I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
