Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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