Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
